Tuesday, May 20, 2008
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
We are the Champions
"Matt it's time to go" my mom yelled peering around my colorful room. "But I don't want to" I whined as I got dragged into the car, fighting to break free from her tight grip.Today is the day that I would sign up for my first little league season. I had just turned eight and loved basketball. So I decided that I would give little league basketball a try. However, I was scared and nervous. I could feel the thump of frogs beating across my stomach. As we pulled into the parking lot I could smell the sweat of kids working hard. The sound of whistles screeching in my ear. I held on to the car as my mom was struggling to get me out. I didn't want to go. Me and my Mom, and my Dad walked into the REC. Center grasping each others hands. I was shaking and looking down at the floor, as I made my way to the dark and cold bench. When I got called up I was in shock, crying.I wiped the sweat off of my damp face, but it just poured down out of my soaked hair. I was nervous. Really nervous. And the REC. Center was hot. Really hot. I dribbled the ball up the coart, spying cameras flashing and lips moving. The room was buzzing with people. At least five hundred, and they were all making noise. I could barely hear myself think. Unfortunately I didn't know what a layup was yet. What was I going to do, would people laugh at me. When I got to the high hoop, I froze. So I shot the ball, it wasn't a layup,it was a jump shot. Finally I got to sit down. I was very tired and humiliated. All I could do was cover my wet, and snotty face with my hands. So no one would see me cry. My parents waved at me, but I was too busy being embarrassed.
A few days later I met up with my team. The Suns. I was the smallest and I didn't speak a word. Because I am a person with very few words. Or a person with pretty much no words at all. I felt better meeting up with my team because there wasn't any cameras nearby. Just before the season I made a couple of friends. Even though the season hadn't started yet I felt like I had already won the prize. Making friends. Before I knew it the season had begun and we were off to a bad start. Infact we hadn't even won one game yet. 3-0. Later In the season we began playing unselfishly. We were playing real basketball. So we, the Suns started winning some games. This reassured me that I was right about joining little league basketball. After the final game of the regular season, the game that would send us into the playoffs, we had a huge celebration. "The playoffs, the playoffs" we screamed in unison, jumping up and down. But I wasn't going to be there for the championship game. I was going to Portland, Oregon. Even though I was sad to leave, I would get to see my family and have a chance to relax.
The next day I was off to Oregon. We had just boarded the plane when I started to worry about the Suns losing. I sat there, on the plane looking out at the dark blue, misty sky. I felt sleepy as we soared right through a blanket of clouds. I was also thinking about the chance of the Suns winning. Even though it was doubtful. I drifted off into a deep sleep as thoughts went blank and wondering disappeared. I woke up a little while later. We were here, Portland. My Grandma waving in the distance.She drove us to her apartment complex,up the elevator and then into her apartment. I was awaiting the outcome of the game. The game I missed. When our coach hadn't called us as soon as he said I got carried away by defeat. I wouldn't look at anyone during dinner. Their bright faces would just look at me with pity. What was that, the phone was ringing, louder and louder each time. Echoing in my ear. Ring, ring! My mom swiftly answered the ringing phone. Nodding sometimes, and laughing once in awhile. She removed her hands from the pink phone, now holding it with her neck. " You won" she whispered, not wanting to distract my gramparents. My mom got right back on the phone with my coach, seeming not to care, even though I know she did. We had won. I got up from the table without anyone noticing me. Next I jumped around the house in pure joy yelling "We won, we won".
Sences
The smell of tar surrounded the black concrete. It felt like gooey candy after the car fire. People surrounding every inch of the burnt car, laying on top of the rubbery concrete. The car was burnt up, and you could spy the colorful wires hanging out of the Subaru Outback.
Metaphor, Similie, and Hyperboles
Metaphor: Johan wants to get on with his life.
Similie: Jill was as fast as a cheatah.
Hyperbole: I am so hungry I could eat a whale.
Similie: Jill was as fast as a cheatah.
Hyperbole: I am so hungry I could eat a whale.
Monday, April 28, 2008
Cutting The Fat
I was so nervous. But a couple years ago I went to ski camp and I was really nervous, I peed my pants.
=
I was so nervous, but not as much as I was a couple years ago.
=
I was so nervous, but not as much as I was a couple years ago.
Interior Monologue
Without Interior Monologue: Jack, get back in your seat!
With Interior monologue: Jack, get back in your seat!
See much better!
With Interior monologue: Jack, get back in your seat!
See much better!
Thursday, April 17, 2008
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
sentance variety
1. I was nervous. Really nervous. It was also hot. Really hot.
2. It seemed like hours to get my number in the awfully long line. Tic Toc.
2. It seemed like hours to get my number in the awfully long line. Tic Toc.
Sunday, April 13, 2008
We Are The Champions!
"Matt it's time to go" my mom yelled peering around my colorful room. "But I don't want to" I whined as I got dragged into the car, fighting to break free from her tight grip.
Today is the day that I would sign up for my first little league season. I had just turned eight and loved basketball. So I decided that I would give little league basketball a try. However, I was scared and nervous. I could feel the thump of frogs beating across my stomach. As we pulled into the parking lot I could smell the sweat of kids working hard. The sound of whistles screeching in my ear. I held on to the car as my mom was struggling to get me out. I didn't want to go. Me and my Mom, and my Dad walked into the REC. Center grasping each others hands. I was shaking and looking down at the floor, as I made my way to the dark and cold bench. When I got called up I was in shock, crying.
I wiped the sweat off of my damp face, but it just poured down out of my soaked hair. I was nervous. Really nervous. And the REC. Center was hot. Really hot. I dribbled the ball up the coart, spying cameras flashing and lips moving. The room was buzzing with people. At least five hundred, and they were all making noise. I could barely hear myself think. Unfortunately I didn't know what a layup was yet. What was I going to do, would people laugh at me. When I got to the high hoop, I froze. So I shot the ball, it wasn't a layup,it was a jump shot. Finally I got to sit down. I was very tired and humiliated. All I could do was cover my wet, and snotty face with my hands. So no one would see me cry. My parents waved at me, but I was too busy being embarrassed.
A few days later I met up with my team. The Suns. I was the smallest and I didn't speak a word. Because I am a person with very few words. Or a person with pretty much no words at all. I felt better meeting up with my team because there wasn't any cameras nearby. Just before the season I made a couple of friends. Even though the season hadn't started yet I felt like I had already won the prize. Making friends. Before I knew it the season had begun and we were off to a bad start. Infact we hadn't even won one game yet. 3-0. Later In the season we began playing unselfishly. We were playing real basketball. So we, the Suns started winning some games. This reassured me that I was right about joining little league basketball. After the final game of the regular season, the game that would send us into the playoffs, we had a huge celebration. "The playoffs, the playoffs" we screamed in unison, jumping up and down.
But I wasn't going to be there for the championship game. I was going to Portland, Oregon. Even though I was sad to leave, I would get to see my family and have a chance to relax. The next day I was off to Oregon. We had just boarded the plane when I started to worry about the Suns losing. I sat there, on the plane looking out at the dark blue, misty sky. I felt sleepy as we soared right through a blanket of clouds. I was also thinking about the chance of the Suns winning. Even though it was doubtful. I drifted off into a deep sleep as thoughts went blank and wondering disappeared. I woke up a little while later. We were here, Portland. MY Grandma waving in the distance.She drove us to her apartment complex,up the elevator and then into her apartment. That night at dinner I got the call. We had won. I jumped around the house in pure joy yelling "We won, we won".
Today is the day that I would sign up for my first little league season. I had just turned eight and loved basketball. So I decided that I would give little league basketball a try. However, I was scared and nervous. I could feel the thump of frogs beating across my stomach. As we pulled into the parking lot I could smell the sweat of kids working hard. The sound of whistles screeching in my ear. I held on to the car as my mom was struggling to get me out. I didn't want to go. Me and my Mom, and my Dad walked into the REC. Center grasping each others hands. I was shaking and looking down at the floor, as I made my way to the dark and cold bench. When I got called up I was in shock, crying.
I wiped the sweat off of my damp face, but it just poured down out of my soaked hair. I was nervous. Really nervous. And the REC. Center was hot. Really hot. I dribbled the ball up the coart, spying cameras flashing and lips moving. The room was buzzing with people. At least five hundred, and they were all making noise. I could barely hear myself think. Unfortunately I didn't know what a layup was yet. What was I going to do, would people laugh at me. When I got to the high hoop, I froze. So I shot the ball, it wasn't a layup,it was a jump shot. Finally I got to sit down. I was very tired and humiliated. All I could do was cover my wet, and snotty face with my hands. So no one would see me cry. My parents waved at me, but I was too busy being embarrassed.
A few days later I met up with my team. The Suns. I was the smallest and I didn't speak a word. Because I am a person with very few words. Or a person with pretty much no words at all. I felt better meeting up with my team because there wasn't any cameras nearby. Just before the season I made a couple of friends. Even though the season hadn't started yet I felt like I had already won the prize. Making friends. Before I knew it the season had begun and we were off to a bad start. Infact we hadn't even won one game yet. 3-0. Later In the season we began playing unselfishly. We were playing real basketball. So we, the Suns started winning some games. This reassured me that I was right about joining little league basketball. After the final game of the regular season, the game that would send us into the playoffs, we had a huge celebration. "The playoffs, the playoffs" we screamed in unison, jumping up and down.
But I wasn't going to be there for the championship game. I was going to Portland, Oregon. Even though I was sad to leave, I would get to see my family and have a chance to relax. The next day I was off to Oregon. We had just boarded the plane when I started to worry about the Suns losing. I sat there, on the plane looking out at the dark blue, misty sky. I felt sleepy as we soared right through a blanket of clouds. I was also thinking about the chance of the Suns winning. Even though it was doubtful. I drifted off into a deep sleep as thoughts went blank and wondering disappeared. I woke up a little while later. We were here, Portland. MY Grandma waving in the distance.She drove us to her apartment complex,up the elevator and then into her apartment. That night at dinner I got the call. We had won. I jumped around the house in pure joy yelling "We won, we won".
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Example gesture
"We won, we won" I screamed running around the apartment with a huge grin on my face.
"Matt it's time to go" My mom yelled peering around the room.
"Matt it's time to go" My mom yelled peering around the room.
Flash Back
I sat there, on the plane, looking out at the starry night sky. I would be missing the championship, instead I got on a plane and off to Oregon. The whole idea of leaving during the season made me frown. But I would get to see my family and have a chance to relax. As I fell asleep I dreamed of the time I first walked into the Rec. Center.....
Monday, April 7, 2008
Leads
1. The air smelled of oak and sap as we pulled in to the narrow lots
of the Rec. Center. I could hear the screech of whistles and kids
yelling in the distance.
2. Have you ever been nervous out of your mind,
but there was no backing out?
3. "But mom, I don't want to go" I said as I got into the cold, and dark car. Crying.
of the Rec. Center. I could hear the screech of whistles and kids
yelling in the distance.
2. Have you ever been nervous out of your mind,
but there was no backing out?
3. "But mom, I don't want to go" I said as I got into the cold, and dark car. Crying.
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Rough Draft #1
Today is the day that I would sign in up for my first little league sports appearance. I was eight years old and small. I had always been one of the smallest, but nobody loved the game, basketball like me. I was very nervous and had tears dripping down the side of my face. I had hoped that I would be on my best friend, Mauro's team, and I wasn't. However, I settled down when my parents told me that they would be watching. When I came up with the idea of playing little league basketball I was super excited. But when I walked in the surprisingly big REC. Center I though that I had made a huge mistake. Later when the referee's were calling kids up to try out, I was sitting on the greasy bench awaiting in dispare for my turn. Finally they called my name and ran onto the coart with my ball. Do a lay-up I repeated over and over again. Whatever that was. It was all or after I shot a 1 ft. jumper, not a lay-up.
A few days later I met with my team, the Suns. At first I was very nervous, but when I made some friends I felt a lot better. We started the season with a terrible 0-3 record. Not only were we last place, but we hadn't won a single game. Later as the season was almost over we had learned a lot about the game and a lot about each other. We started winning games after games and finished the season with a 10-8 record. just enough to get us in to the playoffs. I was loving every bit of this season until I found out that I wasn't going to be there for the semi-finals or the finals. However the next game, which would be my last game, I played the hardest I have ever played. We faced a team that was called "The Orange Team". The orange team played a kid who was 5'8 and nine years old. Although there was a lot of blocked shots, we clung on and won.
The next day I was off to Oregon and I said farewell to my friends. Later that evening I knew that they had finished the game so I sat paciently by the phone awaiting"the call". Finally the phone rang and my mom answered it. "You won" she whispered, and then back to talking on the phone. We were going to the championship. A few days later the phone rang once again. So I crossed my fingers and listened. After he said it,that we had won I dropped the phone and ran around the house. Screaming "We won, we won".
A few days later I met with my team, the Suns. At first I was very nervous, but when I made some friends I felt a lot better. We started the season with a terrible 0-3 record. Not only were we last place, but we hadn't won a single game. Later as the season was almost over we had learned a lot about the game and a lot about each other. We started winning games after games and finished the season with a 10-8 record. just enough to get us in to the playoffs. I was loving every bit of this season until I found out that I wasn't going to be there for the semi-finals or the finals. However the next game, which would be my last game, I played the hardest I have ever played. We faced a team that was called "The Orange Team". The orange team played a kid who was 5'8 and nine years old. Although there was a lot of blocked shots, we clung on and won.
The next day I was off to Oregon and I said farewell to my friends. Later that evening I knew that they had finished the game so I sat paciently by the phone awaiting"the call". Finally the phone rang and my mom answered it. "You won" she whispered, and then back to talking on the phone. We were going to the championship. A few days later the phone rang once again. So I crossed my fingers and listened. After he said it,that we had won I dropped the phone and ran around the house. Screaming "We won, we won".
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